"We have only to open up, to discover what is already there." - Henry Miller
Roller Coaster
The last two weeks of classes before Spring Break were relatively light as we wrapped up our 3rd Quarter Project. I had more time to hang out with friends, rest and watch some really good films. Two incredible ones are currently showing at the Film Society at Lincoln Center. Both films speak to where I am at and both helped me clarify the internal path that would behoove me most to take. Most of it has to do with coming to terms with What I Am and how that step is crucial into Becoming.
"In a Chekhov state of mind"
We just got our casting for the "Chekhov slot." But first, a story:
When I was a senior college student at the Ateneo de Manila University, the Tanghalang Pilipino Foundation (the resident theater company of the Cultural Center of the Philippines) held auditions for "Ang Tatlong Mariya." It was Rody Vera's adaptation of Anton Chekhov's "Three Sisters" to be directed by Loy Arcenas. At that time, the Tanghalang Pilipino (TP) Actor's Company was my dream theater company. I looked up to their body of work and alumnae with high esteem. I auditioned for Ang Tatlong Mariya at the CCP and got a callback. I read for the role of Irina (the youngest sister) and remember vividly sitting around a table at the Tanghalang Huseng Batute with all the other professional TP actors called back for Ang Tatlong Mariya with Loy Arcenas leading the reading. My phone was ringing incessantly (on silent mode) and my mind half-conscious of the fact that right after this reading I had to rush back to Ateneo from CCP for my philosophy oral exam. I was working too hard during the reading, and I couldn't keep up with the discussion of the play. I didn't have enough tools then and my training was not up to par with the professional actors in the room.
I eventually rushed back to Ateneo, the commute long and hot, only to find out that all philosophy oral exams under that teacher were cancelled that afternoon. It turns out that the one who was calling me incessantly during my callback was my philosophy teacher trying to tell me to go on with my audition because the exams were postponed (I tried to reschedule my oral exam prior to the audition but my request got rejected).
To make a long story short, I got stressed for nothing. And I did not get the part of Irina.
The following year, they opened "Ang Tatlong Mariya" (Three Sisters) at the CCP Little Theater. I watched the show on my birthday (March 20). I graduated from college and a few months later that same year, I auditioned for the new crop of actors for the Tanghalang Pilipino Actors' Company and got in.
The best part of the story is, 6 years after getting rejected from Ang Tatlong Mariya at the CCP, I get into The Juilliard School. And on the Spring Semester of my second year, we are set to do Three Sisters by Anton Chekhov.
Guess who I am playing? Irina.
Irina, Irina, Irina Sergeyevna Prozorova.
Life has a way of coming into full circle. And a way of telling you that you are exactly where you need to be.