Last weeks of Summer 2016 in New York City
I have not been able to post an entry for nearly 3 weeks because I have been dealing with medical nuisances and apartment issues which have been overwhelming. I am choosing to wrap up my summer entries with what I have learned in spite of what is happening.
What I have learned (Summer 2016):
- Give myself SPACE I do not have to play the "hero" every day, nor have to accomplish everything at once, or even stick to a "plan." When I give myself space, I feel bigger and I allow myself to breathe.
- Walking FORWARD Choosing to walk forward every day is enough. Again, I do not have to tick everything off my to-do list in a given day.
- "Life is not an object. It is a process." - John Cage I observed that I like things neat and clean cut. I also observed that I like to work hard to grow and try new things in order to one day be able to "set" them. Meaning, to come up with an "ideal" set of tools, principles, systems to live by. I have learned that life will continue to break those "rules," introduce new and more elements as well as put in some inforeseen (or unasked for) factors to "contend" with. Life continues to be interesting this way because it is constantly moving and evolving. In this way, life could be a "mess," but it can be a "good" mess, as long as you keep listening.
Notes to Self Moving Forward:
- Don't be afraid to be INVISIBLE This is different from "keeping silent" when something within you compels you to speak. What I mean by "INVISIBLE," is to allow your life and your growth to blossom regardless of whether people notice it or "like" it on social media. The day-to-day logbook of your growth is independent from praise or compliments. You are cultivating your inner life, spirituality, the quality of your relationships. thoughts, habits, sources of sustenance and LIVING - not your ego. You truly, in the greater scheme of things, do not need to prove anything to anyone.
- Focus on what truly MATTERS to you: "What you are will show, ultimately. Start now, every day, becoming, in your actions, your regular actions, what you would like to become in the bigger scheme of things." - Anna Deavere Smith
I'd like to end this with a quote from Steve Almond whose podcast with Cheryl Strayed (Dear Sugar) has been a source of affirmation for me during more challenging times: "Please stop using as a criteria for your worth and stop as a daily practice consuming the fucking shitty products coming your way that partake in the idea that something matters more than your spiritual life, your ability to love well and truly, c'mon that's what it's about." - Steve Almond